The first Friday of every October is celebrated as Children's Day in Singapore, honoring kids aged 1-12, encouraging them to explore their creativity, childlikeness, and the free-spiritedness of life. School hours are usually half the day's long, and students are encouraged to spend the day just being who they are in their authenticity. While this celebratory focus on childhood is wonderful, as we grow older, we often lose the freedom to embrace play and joy in our lives.
Welcome back to our second #WabiSabiWednesdays blog post! This week, we dive into the concept of the inner child. Everyone has one—it's the purest, truest version of ourselves, the part of us that remains untouched by societal expectations. The inner child is a person’s supposed original or true self, especially when concealed in adulthood. This aspect of ourselves resides in the subconscious and is shaped by the experiences, joys, and unmet needs of our childhood.
However, a lot of our inner children are wounded. Recognizing a wounded inner child can manifest in various ways, such as unhealthy coping mechanisms or chronic people-pleasing. These patterns often arise from unmet needs, influenced by childhood caregivers, experiences, and environments. For example, if you grew up with an emotionally unavailable or abusive parent, your inner child may carry wounds that shape how you navigate life. Inner child work becomes integral when your life is not going the way you consciously planned, and it is important to discover that 90% of our life is ruled by our subconscious beliefs, that stemmed from when we were very young.
Healing the inner child is a deeply personal and transformative process that involves reconnecting with the parts of ourselves that were wounded or neglected during childhood.
The first step in healing your inner child is recognizing that they exist and have been shaped by your past experiences. Think back on your childhood, recalling times when you might have felt unloved, ignored, or emotionally unsupported. To begin, try visualizing yourself as a child and acknowledging your younger self’s feelings, needs, and dreams.
Next, create a safe and supportive space for your inner child to heal by approaching them with compassion and validation, as you would a close friend. You can say things like, "It's okay to feel this way, I'm here for you." Then, identify the unmet needs from your childhood—whether it was love, attention, or boundaries—and start nurturing yourself by filling those gaps.
This can be extremely triggering and/or cathartic. Sometimes our innermost desires can get lost within societal expectations, they can be downturned & dampened by people of power or an authoritative figure we looked up to when we were young. Those parts of us can become lost forever unless we take the time to discover what those are and truly reconnect with them again,
Additionally, for a lot of us, this process can awaken a new-found sense of purpose that was once rejected at an early age and open up a new path to us discovering a more authentic way of life. Writing a letter from your inner child to your current self can also help express those unaddressed feelings.
Reparenting is also essential: this means becoming the caregiver you needed when you were younger, setting healthy boundaries, prioritizing self-care, and finding time for playful, joyful activities, taking up hobbies like painting, colouring books, watching a childhood show, taking up dance lessons and connecting with the artist within you, or any other activity you used to love as a child.
Practicing self-compassion is key too—be kind to yourself when you notice old wounds, knowing that healing takes time and your feelings are valid. When triggered, pause and reflect on where those emotions come from, often tied to childhood experiences.
Finally, reconnect with your sense of play and creativity, allowing yourself to enjoy life without judgment. Get a coffee on your way to work because you can, compliment a stranger, practice loving affirmations every morning and night. Introduce abundance into your life, it will show up in places you might not even recognize, everything that goes around will come around. Trust that. And remember, you don’t have to do this alone—seeking support from a therapist or joining a group can help guide you on this healing journey. By embracing these practices, you create space for your inner child to heal and thrive, allowing more joy and self-love into your life.
Having fun is often seen as "bad" or frivolous in adulthood because of societal norms and pressures that emphasize responsibility, productivity, and seriousness as markers of maturity. As we grow older, we're often conditioned to believe that being "grown-up" means prioritizing work, obligations, and practical concerns over leisure or play. Fun is sometimes viewed as something only for children, or as something unproductive that distracts from "real life."
Additionally, there’s a cultural association between success and busyness. In many societies, overworking and constantly striving for goals are glorified, while rest, play, and fun are undervalued or seen as indulgences that only occur after hard work is complete. This mindset leads to guilt when adults take time for themselves or engage in activities purely for enjoyment.
With the new wave of true self-love and healing many of us are awakening to the fact that hustle culture, and overly critical environments are not conducive for long-term success or growth, they can even be detrimental to such. Therefore, it is imperative that we introduce a sense of compassion, self-acceptance and even allow ourselves to have fun in our daily lives.
By Ranya.I
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